Using phrases to calm a child's tantrum is one of the tools we have at our disposal to lower the level of crying, even violence, that children can release when they are very angry.
In any case, there are no magic phrases or specific tricks that work just for the sake of it. To calm an angry child and lower his anger levels, we must be aware that our tone must always be relaxed. In addition, no matter how hard it may be, we will avoid losing our composure and we also have the obligation not to judge the emotions of the little ones.
What phrases can we use to calm a child's tantrum?
Always keeping calm and knowing that we are the adults, so we cannot 'lose our roles' at any time or 'lower ourselves' to their level, we will use simple phrases that we will pronounce in a clear, concise, firm, and also understanding way, since children do not control their emotions well and it is difficult for them to manage them.
You can be as angry as you want, but it is not right to hurt other people.
Don't get carried away by the complexity of the situation. If your child is in the middle of a tantrum, so aggressive that he/she bites, hits or breaks things that could harm people nearby, with all the calm you can treasure, tell him/her this phrase and, if necessary, repeat it as much as you consider necessary. The child must understand that violent, aggressive or angry methods will never achieve anything.
Then, we can make him understand that we understand him, that we empathize with him, but that this behavior, whatever it is, is not acceptable in any case and must cease. As soon as he calms down, establish a dialogue to reach agreements, so that he can see that 'by the good way' is how problems are solved, by talking, never hitting, shouting or assaulting.
Let's all calm down
We understand that you may think that a phrase like this will do nothing to calm your child. It is true if you also lose your temper. That is, you don't have to go around yelling, because it gives little ones more energy to cry louder, so that the little one thinks your strategy is working.
If a child gets angry and we yell and end up getting carried away by anger, he will understand that his way of proceeding is normal, even correct. That is why we have to be calm and make him understand that his attitude will not allow him to achieve the results he expects or desires.
Repeat this phrase as many times as necessary. He will feel alone during the process and sooner or later he will eventually calm down and understand that this is not the best way to proceed in order to achieve his goals.
This is not the way to express what you feel.
You can add something like: "we all get angry sometimes, but we must express it in a different way". That is, you have to make him understand that, no matter how angry he feels, yelling, crying tears, breaking things or hitting are not ways to channel anger.
Little by little, we can make the child see that occasional anger is a natural process. It happens to all of us and, since children have more problems to control their impulses and emotions, they look for methods of expression such as the aforementioned tantrum. But through a persevering and clear dialogue, always taking advantage of when the child is calm, we can teach him various means of expression to show what he feels, such as a drawing, for example.
We have to be very patient to teach children the best ways to understand and control their emotions. That is why at Logos Nursery School we have an office specialized in guiding parents to find the ideal way to understand their children and have productive and valuable dialogues.
