To guarantee an effective education for children, combined with fun, affection and happiness, we must establish some limits and rules so that our little ones acquire some discipline and become mature people in the future. The key is to implement those limits with consistency and firmness.
Discover some tips to help set boundaries with your children
Not having rules at home can lead to negative behaviors in children, such as disrespect, uncomfortable situations, passive attitudes, etc. Therefore, here are some tools to set those limits from empathy and respect so that they can internalize them at an early age.
Show firmness but also tranquility
Parents should be forceful when setting limits but without showing anger or a negative attitude, since, at the time of the alteration, the situation becomes more tense and more severe punishments can be imposed that are counterproductive to what we want to teach the little ones. The ideal is to take a few seconds of calm and face the situation calmly, since the child will understand better what he/she has done wrong if the atmosphere is calm.
Disapprove the attitude, not the child
It is the child's behavior that is wrong, not the child himself, and it is important that we let him know this when we are talking about what happened, since he may think that the problem is his own and that everything he does is wrong. We can use phrases such as "this you have done is not right" or "this is not so", not point to him directly as the culprit.
To state the standard with emphasis on the positive aspects.
Limits can be expressed in a positive way and is a way for the child to respond better to the rule and maintain a calm attitude on both sides. For example, instead of saying "don't insult that child," you can explain what respect is and why it should apply to everyone.
Tell the reason for this rule
It is necessary to explain to them the reason for this rule and why they have to obey it, in this way they will understand what they are doing wrong and will be more willing to listen to the parent once they are given a reason. Otherwise, he will not understand why his behavior is wrong and will encourage himself to continue to break the limit.
Providing an alternative
We must not give in at any time because then the child will not learn anything of what we have previously said, but we can offer other options depending on the situation or negotiate with them, because in this way they will accept the rule in a positive way and, at the same time, they will feel compensated. An example could be "you can't play with the knife to cut the plasticine, you can hurt yourself, better use this plastic one".
From the specialized psycho-pedagogical office at Logos Nursery School Nursery School in Las Rozas de Madrid we can advise you on how to set limits for your child from a positive upbringing.
