Children reach an age when curiosity and imagination become more and more present and certain doubts begin to arise. Between the ages of 4 and 10 is the stage of why? And their questions can be quite uncomfortable, upsetting parents, grandparents, siblings and even teachers.
Many adults are not prepared to give an answer to those awkward questions that children ask, especially when they are curious about a particular topic. Even if the answer is something you know, it is influenced by the context in which the questions are asked, the subject matter and even the people present. So that they do not surprise you with these doubts, from Logos Nursery School, nursery school located in Las Rozas de Madridwe give you some recommendations that will get you out of those troubles if you have children in the age of why.
What questions may be uncomfortable?
It is very likely that there are some topics that are more touchy than others for parents. The truth is that those uncomfortable questions may come from something they heard, from conversations of older siblings or cousins, or from a particular event that affects the child's environment, for example, the death of close relatives, divorce or separation of parents, illness, pregnancy, falling in love, discovery of their private parts, among other events that cause surprise, discomfort and even embarrassment in adults.
It is important to understand that a curious child is full of doubts, but also retains innocence and curiosity to know how the world in which he lives works. Therefore, it is best to answer in a simple way without rhetorical explanations, trying to adapt the answer, without generating more doubts in the child.
Answer at the moment the question arises?
It is very likely that when your child asks you a question that makes you uncomfortable, you are caught by surprise and you do not know what to say or how to behave and you may not have an immediate answer. For these cases it is advisable that you do not scold the child (arm yourself with courage and patience, after that question will come some more), explain slowly that you need to have that conversation alone, this in turn will teach him that you are interested in answering, but that this is not the time to talk about it. In this way, you will be able to gain some time to organize your ideas and the best way to explain the answer he needs to his question.
How to answer uncomfortable questions to children?
To give an assertive and coherent answer to your child there is no magic formula or manual to follow that will get you out of a round of uncomfortable questions, however, there are some tips you can apply to answer them, among them:
- Be natural and honest in the answer you are going to give your child, spontaneity will make them feel comfortable with the answer.
- If you don't have a real answer, it's best not to lie or make up fictitious stories. You don't know everything and you don't have to know everything, this can be applied to those questions about sexuality that make any member of the family feel uncomfortable. The best thing to do in these cases is to use technology to your advantage and between the two of you find an answer (according to the child's age of course) for that doubt.
- Explain to your child that there are other sources of information besides technology. Encourage them to talk to their grandparents, aunts, uncles and teachers to get a variety of answers. You can warn your family members that your child is in the awkward questioning stage so that they will be aware of your child's concerns if he or she comes to them.
- Give them a clear and simple answer, according to their age. Do not explain long and detailed processes and techniques that they will not understand clearly and that may generate more doubts.
- Listen carefully to everything your child tells you about what he/she knows about the topic he/she is asking you about, you will see how his/her imagination and creativity develop.
- It is very important that you do not give automatic answers to your children, for example: I don't know about that subject, you are not old enough to know that, when you are older I will explain... This can create affective distances with your child and limit his capacity for imagination and interest in things that are important to him.
Your children's uncomfortable questions are a good way to get to know those issues that worry and concern them. That's why your answers should be oriented to give them tranquility and stability in their emotions, use good humor and empathy when facing their doubts.
